This week motherhood became a central topic as yesterday I had a famous Hungarian singer as a guest at my weekly Facebook live show and I asked her about how she manages being a mom and a successful singer at the same time.
There is a certain thought that doesn’t leave me alone and I do really think this issue needs to be addressed, just as my expert friends of this territory confirmed my opinion. The topic is mom-dad roles and communication about it on social media or during an everyday conversation.
What am I referring to? When a woman posts a picture with her beloved one, who also happens to be the father of their child(ren) and in the caption she calls him “dad”. It seems as a cute little nothing because yeah, at the end of the day he is the father of their kid(s) but then what’s wrong with it?
Primary roles. Because that man is not your dad (I know what you refer to yet you call him “dad”…) but your partner, your beloved one, your love. The man with whom you hopefully have intimacy, an invisible connection which resulted in those beautiful child(ren) of yours and then you got new roles: you became parents. But let’s not forget that primarily you are the Woman with capital W in his life and not his mother. Sorry for being blunt but no man wants to sleep with his mother, can we agree on that??? And it is a real threat that intimacy will slowly but surely get killed if you call him daddy and call yourself mommy. You know what I mean. And then don’t get surprised if he can’t see you as a woman but only as a mother for whom he has no erotic desire.
Remain that woman whom he fell in love with and without whom he can’t imagine his life. Become conscious how you call each other and call him by his name or the nickname you both adore. Because he is the One for you. And he is not your “dad”.