The title of today’s post represents a very common phenomena both online and offline. Think about the mean memes on your Facebook timeline or the motivation preferred by some trainers: lost weight so you become hot. Unconsciously the key to success and happiness is coded in our brains and it has nothing to do with anything else but looks, as I had it in my latest #livePLUS Facebook broadcast notes (read it HERE). During the years I have been helping women I also felt that this topic is really a tough one to overcome as many outside factors made you believe that extra pounds make you an undesirable candidate for the girlfriend position.
Recently a popular South-African Twitter user, Leyton Mokgerepi thought it was fun to make a stereotype joke and created this meme. What he didn’t imagine in his wildest dreams is that the girl on the right, namely Lesego Legobane who is a plus size model and body positive activist, would not leave this meme without a spicy comment. It was literally only 4 words but so on point that celebs like Nicky Minaj or Ariane Grande faved that tweet. „I don’t like you” it says. Later of course Mokgerepi tried to ease the situation but in vain as the whole internet community stood by the young girl’s side.
I know guys who has the six packs and well-toned bodies yet they have hard times convincing curvy ladies about their preferance: those soft extra pounds! Yeah, bigger ladies have a tendency to talk men off of them as they can’t believe that an semi-god body guy would ever want anything from them. In my book I also shared a similar personal experience where it was my lack of self-confidence to be blamed for acting this way. Another typical behaviour when in relationship is a similar pattern, you try to talk yourself off your partner, adding jealousy as well since you do not believe that you are enough (for him). Not to mention women being mean to each other. Sure you have heard the comment before: what does such a hunk do next to such a (insert here a mean adjective) woman?
Though there is a different question you need to ask yourself: do you really know what or whom you are looking for? As in lack of this comes unneccessary expedience when you focus on being wanted by someone instead of deciding whether that person is good enough for you or not. Do you really want that person or there is someone at least talking to you? Someone who accepts you since you can’t do the same with yourself.. Someone who may make you feel good and more self-confident…
It’s time to learn your worth, to learn respecting yourself since you are not an option, you deserve to be priority! But unless you don’t believe it, how would you expect others to believe it and treat you accordingly? You don’t need to win with your humour, personality or loud behaviour. You don’t have to compensate at all! You don’t have to get desperate and settle for anyone giving the minimum attention to you. „Just” be yourself and those who are on the same wavelength will come and love you, not despite of your extra pounds but together with them!