I have always considered myself a person with a positive attitude however I can have negative thoughts too. Having a 10/10 self-confidence all the time is an illusion and I never denied to have down moments, too. I am not a guru and I do not have the intention to showcase such an image of myself. Sometimes I make mistakes and sometimes I fall, too, just like you. Yet I am still positive, or maybe not?
The first step of building your self-esteem and your self-confidence is a positive brainwash. We get touched by the inspirational quotes we read on Facebook and the seed of positivity gets into the soil of our brains. We even set such an uplifting quote as the wallpaper on our phones but all these are really enough? The answer is no because without doing the work and without going deep, the miracle will simply not happen and you will feel that positive thinking is nonsense and fake. No matter how positive you are, your bank account is still empty and looking into the mirror you see no change on yourself. Anyway, the girl spreading only good vibes has it all, including a loving partner so it is easy for her to be positive, right? No, not exactly because you do not see the work that girl put into having it all, including a loving partner. It is not enough to watch the Secret or read my book and wait for the miracle to happen. But then why positive thinking doesn’t work for some? Are we not positive enough to make it work?
4 misbeliefs about positive thinking
- Negative thoughts and feelings can be pushed down
No, they can’t and shouldn’t. Being positive is not equal with the lack of negative emotions, fear, disappointment or sadness. These are natural human feelings and I encourage you to live them. Be mad or sad if that is what you truly feel inside! But then how to remain positive? Poisitive thinking means being in the movement, searching the solution and seeing the opportunity. Taking the example of your boss being fired, you naturally start to develop the fear of losing your own job. Others may say, c’mon, stay positive, you won’t lose it but you can’t help yourself and have those dreadful thoughts. Then you start hating yourself for having such negative thoughts and you get stuck in that poisoned spiral. However true positivity means acknowledging the fear, feeling it, then releasing it and looking for opportunities by moving forward. You have been in the same work position for a while so now life offers you the chance to change and start living your dreams. Realize it, feel it, release it and move forward.
- Everything will be smooth and calm
No, not at all. No matter how positive you are, you will still have challenges and obstacles on the road. However the big difference lays in the outlook on life: those with positive thinking take challenges as necessary bumps on the road to be solved in order to reach their goals. Taking another example, you can keep complaining why are you still single and meeting only idiots or you can decide to get to know yourself, realizing your needs and wishes. Once you know your worth and what you are looking for, you won’t settle for less and you won’t get into a relationship which is not meant for you. I always say that the time between two relationships is the only period when you can work on yourself the most and spend the most time on and with yourself without feeling guilty.
- Good things come without work
You read the Secret and in the uplifting spirit of positive thinking you fill in that million dollar cheque, sit back and wait. You are sure that you did your part with the positive, manifesting thoughts and expect that all your dreams are about to unfold and become reality. And yet another disappointing news on the way, this assumption is very far from reality. Though it is crucial to first believe that you worth it, for example you worth being successful at work but solely this thought is not enough. Positive thinkers are not afraid to do the actual work and take actions in order to fulfill their dreams and wishes. They know that failures on the way are just lessons to learn. Positive thoughts without actual work are not enough and only by reading my self-confidence boosting quotes you will not build your self-esteem. You have to work for it hard every single day!
- It only works if it happens as you imagined
You put yourself up for disappointment if you believe that positive thinking bring everything exactly how you picture it. For example you see yourself getting that promotion at work. You worked so hard for it, you deserve it. Then your colleague gets it instead of you and you feel devastated and lose your belief in positive thinking as it didn’t work for you. But what if there is something bigger and better in store for you? Positive thinking requires flexibility and openness. See the opportunites even if they come in a different shape or form than how you imagined!
And these are true for self-confidence, too.
- You will have bad days, I also do. There are days when I can’t look at myself with all the positive mindset but you know what matters? Being aware! These days I seek and search for help, read my own book filled with self-confidence boosting advice or take a look at my Plus list (if you don’t know what is that, ask me in the comments!).
- It’s not all smooth sailing but I know I can do it. My faith in my abilities is bigger than my fear and that is how I face the next obstacle.
- I work for my self-confidence. Every single day I do something for myself!
- I know I am worth it even if the other person doesn’t see it.
Now it is time for practise! Which of these above mentioned is a challenge for you? Let me know in comments or drop me a line on my Facebook page!