My clothes (correction: half of my wardrobe) I packed to bring with me to Hungary’s biggest spiritual & lifestyle festival, Everness are still in my huge pink suitcase and my beautiful henna painting is still visible on my left hand. I am back home. This sentence has a particular twist as I have just recently moved back to Hungary and my apartment is still full of unpacked boxes and bags but all these are irrelevant. Home is where you create it, as I was reminded by one of my best friends the other day. My home was at the lake Balaton last week where I could spend 5 days with 5000 strangers some of whom became new friends by the end of the festival.
I often say, we are teachers and students at the same time. I had been a teacher at Everness not only during my workshop and my speech but through the entire time. I taught acceptance, self-care and self-love to those in need. I also became a student myself and I would love to share one of the most important lessons I learnt last week: to let things go and stop wanting to be in control all the time.
I call myself a control freak who must know every detail and be in control of all things happening around. It is a continuous lesson to me to let things go out of my control and these days at Everness had taught me about letting go. The only thing I am in control of is my own reactions, how I react to other people’s bevahiour, sentences or feelings.
I shared a few pictures of my workshop (here) and speech on the main stage (here) on my Facebook page but let me take you behind the scenes, too. The tents built for the festival to host the seminars and workshops laid quite spread all around the camping where the whole event took place. It took quite a while to me and my assistant, Dia to find our venue for the workshop and I was already worried how the people would find me. Plus I got a quite late time slot for Thursday after 9 pm when festival goers usually go to concerts and not workshops. My fears got only heightened when before the workshop I realized, they moved the TV from the tent. The panick started. I did desperately need that TV to play some videos for my audience so now what? Dia tried to ask a favour from a team member but as the girl shook her head, it became clear to me: I have to re-do the workshop plan. I even did not bring my laptop with me but before entering the usual panick spiral, suddenly a guy ran up to me and jumped into my neck for a strong hug. It was an old colleague from a company we did marketing together some years ago. He was not just a festival goer but head of the technical support. Another shock but the good type! As you can guess, he helped us to settle everything: TV and laptop. Because I had to remind myself the mantra that helped me through my relocation: everything is happening to my highest good. A mantra my good friend, Melo ( @afterchloe) taught me. I had to realize that life has so much more to offer to me once I let the control go. Just as I let my expectations go when 1 hour before my workshop the camping’s water pipe broke and thousands of us remained without water. So no shower or „nice’ dress to me but flip-flops and shorts. But all that did not matter as I was standing there, in front of 100 people (apparently they found the tent, no matter how far it was or how late we started, they showed up and filled every chair and some of them were even standing around the tent during my entire workshop) because they wanted to hear my message, and did not come to see my outfit.
And this is not all as on Saturday at my speech on the main stage I got the lesson again! Due to some technical problems, my videos did not start and I was standing there, in the middle of the main stage, in front of a huge led wall and facing hundreds of people. Me, my microphone and the audience. So I had a choice: the only thing I was in control of was my reaction. I could stand there, silent, in shock and outrageous OR I could appreciate the crowd, look into their eyes and start telling my story. I chose the latter one as I realized, my message does not need a video or a presentation. I am my message so all I have to do is tap inside and share my story. And they listened and we had a magical connection, I loved every minute of it!
And how all of these can help to you fall in love with yourself? It is crucial to understand, you are not in control. In this way you can spare the unnecessary disappointments because you know, you can’t control how other people react, behave or feel. Instead, go within and pay attention how you react to happenings, feelings, words and acts of others. How accepting and kind are you with them and with yourself? These are important parts of your self-love journey so practise them every single day!